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Ambitious – I’m Good At It

Here we go again,

12 minimum hours of intense work, walk, think, plan and check.

5 days/week + 1 day work from mobile phone during day off

Oh la la! I am both stressed out and excited with the challenge ๐Ÿ˜Œ I used to think this would be the best time to cut my working break loose, but this year is totaly the other way around.

The more I realized that my busy-ness are the things I choose to handle. I just have to make my priorities right, I just have to make tine for myself. I just have to be “OK” inside, otherwise the rest will be just chaos

I just have to choose my battle.

Everything else but work chaos are going pretty good otherwise. I’m so proud to actually have a lofe outside of work. Yesterday I somehow managed to finish 10k run race after almost 3 weeks without any exercise.

And of course I was far away from standing on podium hahaha, but guess what, I did 6 Personal (time) Records. I always know that I am competitive but how I raced out this one, I shocked myself. Ha!

All I do is outperform myself #win

And suddenly these hit me:

Am I so good at work because there are constant measurements of how I perfom? Constant recognition, constant monhtly reward (earning), constant evaluation, constant feedback..

I guess that’s partially why I’m hooked to running. Immediate feedback of pace, distance, HR and even kudos.

So if I don’t work (for others) anymore, how is it to measure my performance?

how do I keep myself motivate?

how do I know when I stand at one point of time?

how do I know when to push and when to slow down

how do I know my extent of abilities?

how do I cope?

will I be constantly good at what I do then?

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‘Bit of Both

One of the new year resolutions is to start reading again, so there is this book that I’ve been struggling to read –Quiet Power-. I think I was mainly an extrovert and somehow along the way I have become an introvert and now and Ambivert.

Social encounters would energize me only halfway of the event and then drains me out at some point. Which when I will have that desperate necessity to retreat and just be reclusive.ย I always know that strategy works for me, but have never been able to define it so clearly until this book did ๐Ÿ™‚

Me being Ambivert, still sometimes confuses me. Part of me love to socialize, to reach out, to learn, to see new perspectives, plus I think I’m a great listener, a descent conversation is almost guaranteed. However, it seems I get exhausted fast in the process, you know..putting yourself out there, getting all new information, trying to understand and/or digesting & explaining your thoughts on the spot. Once I reach that phase, I’d just switch into the introvert side of me. At this point, I will start self negating all that I just did. I retreat.

It’s not about the people, it’s about me. I just gotta listen to myself and pace.

Retreat
This was us, escaping from a 2 days long of Chinese New Year celebration..just for a short 40 minutes. Rain, coffee and book.. while he just liberally tried to sleep on the table.. wkwkwk
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It’s The Art

It’s the pacing, juggling tasks, multi tasking, knowing you’ve just saved some time/effort by smart planning.

It’s the rush of deadlines, creativity spikes when pressure is ON

It’s the thrill of getting things done when you want it (early), how you want it (perfect), the remaining time that’s used to get ahead for another project. It’s about knowing you did so good you could almost foreseen the result.

I just want you to be able to remember, just glimps of it that keeps you going, day in & day out.

Cause you will miss these someday Missy.. #myworklife #notetoself

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Acceptable, Affordable Resolutions

I have been contemplating between resolutions, carefully selecting what should be making my busy days busier and how things should change or stay the way they have been. It is almost the actual new year for me.

1. I looked at the 2017 running chart and how much running I did, there was no passing grade or anything, yet somehow I felt like I had a C.

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So, in the spirit of living even a healthier, more active and energized life, this year I will run some more.

I spent the whole week last week being thoroughly deciding whether I’m going to run a half Marathon in March. The first day I was a click away from paying the registration fee, I knew if I didn’t do it there and then, I will stop me.ย  And I did. For the better.

I think I can make it, the HM. I would had to put in quite an effort to practise, which I failed to do everyday last week! Given an average of total 6.5 hrs sleep, I was still too tired to drag myself off the bed. My God.. seems my upgraded work has taken a toll on me. Yeap, this girl is taking care of 3 roles starting this year. If a brain is seen as a room, mine must be a very very very crowded one.

So, I learned to listen to my body.

Yes I may be a lazy bum, but failing 7 days in a row is not my thing. I must had been really tired. I figure it would be best to try out the HM after I’m done giving labors. You know, safe guarding those important organs. So I signed up for 10k instead! A very affordable distance, it will be just a question of how strong the finish will be.ย  That would be my first something to look forward to,ย this year ๐Ÿ™‚

 

2.ย I’d like to think that running is the extrovert side of me. While Yoga is the introvert side of me.ย Screenshot_20180129-215911

 

I got myself 7 beautiful yoga pants last December. My old mat can still serve me. I must admit, Yoga calms me down alright. Not easy to go into that mood, but it’s my to go to in time of need. Years from now, I may end up doing Yoga everyday, which I think would be great healthy routine. All I need is just need that little will (and big kick on my lazy ass hahaha)

 

 

 

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3.ย It’s been 3 weeks and I struggle to finish a book. Yeap, I’ve decided to pick up reading again. I recall to be a very active member of local rental bookstore when I was at school. I remember reading 1 to 3 books every week going back and forth to that store and actually paid rent for each book. I could only remember reading 1 book over these last 5 years, a very good book. Seriously, I did not see it going hahahaha

 

4.ย Obviously I still think writing is my thing, I wouldn’t otherwise typing here at midnight. I have to arrange some sort of quick access to this, so I don’t have to procrastinate any other post for 28 days.. wkwkwk

Funny that I put first all of other things that are actually not what I really really wanted/needed to do for myself.

I should print out this resolution list and put it everywhere. Focus, dear..!

 

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Glasses

Last Friday I sat with a colleague of mine, whom professionally, I’ve half-voluntarily supported the last 9 months. It’s not like I have spare time at work ๐Ÿ˜… . So his last day would be end of this month and that means his portion of load will come to me. In my attempt in pushing an early handover list, I found myself preaching about how I still do this role for the past two years and still, because so much that I get to learn, cool things like fire management, generator and even types of breads ๐Ÿ˜ƒ.

It must have been the thing, or at least one of those that keep me in the job. It does not earned me as much but it’d be enough to live in luxury if I wanted to. Working hours and days are good, lots of freedom in managing myself, task and whatever else I want to do. Own office, good coffee and option to a good meal every working day are bonus ๐Ÿ˜!

At that point I was just bit perplexed on why I often felt burdened having a job as such. I have so much to be grateful about and yet I opted to see everything else but.

I guess, it’d somehow gotten into me since as I have to check, daily, the condition and cleanliness of things at work, and to highlight the findings to the team for them to fix. So, it’s like looking at the world with broken glasses, everything will have a defect which stands out and poke my eyes at the first glance ๐Ÿ™ˆ . Owh no..!

Recently, I consciously try to be positive in any opportunity, and man, it is not as easy! Maintaining positive thoughts and attitude are just essentials. I have to take a step back and monitor my thoughts carefully, exercise my mind to start with positive side of every coin. After all, I’m the master of my mind.

Maybe do more yoga and meditation would help further?

Or ice cream !๐Ÿ˜œ wkwkwk

But seriously, positive vibes only ๐Ÿ‘‘